We like being comfortable. Actually, that's about the whole of it. We like being COMFORTABLE!!
The main reason for this, is because we're hyper-sensitive when it comes to textures. A tag on a shirt can drive us insane, and something that is even slightly tight or makes us slightly self-conscious, which might just be an irritant for neurotypicals, is a nightmare for us!
Now, back to the concept of comfort: Is it really too much to ask? In the world of women's fashion, it is. Everything today is fitted, tight, and made out of material that we think is better suited for backpacks and purses. But, on the other hand, we also need some security. Like, for me, jeans need to be high-waisted and secure. I can't constantly be pulling up on my hip-huggers or be bothered to wear a belt all the time, so I need the high-waisted ones. And when it comes to shirts, the looser the better!
How do I dress? Well, when I don't have to be around people, then I go where the mood takes me! Some days I feel modern, others vintage, and on the rare occasion, grunge. I also like to show what I like with what I wear and be comfortable while doing it, so I have a nice collection of Doctor Who, Supernatural, Sherlock, and Firefly t-shirts, along with some Harry Potter and a few other things thrown in for good measure. And Goodwill is the best place for buying men's button ups...I particularly like plaid. (wink wink)
However, when I have to go to work or to church, or I'm just going to go hang out with friends, then things get...interesting. I have plenty of other things in my wardrobe, but I don't see them as clothes; they're my costumes. If I'm going to church, I wear dresses and skirts, if I'm going to work, then plain shirts and jeans. I have to admit, work is pretty easy to dress for and it's nice.
But then you have hanging out with friends. Easy, right? Just throw something on and it's all good.
It. Is. Paralyzing.
I have to think about everything that might happen, everything that might come up over even just a couple of hours. Will they want to do something sporty? Will we end up at someone's else house? Will someone want to go out to eat? Will we be outside or inside most of the time? What if it goes longer than planned? It's a very complicated matter and it takes a long time for me to put things together so that I feel comfortable.
I create a costume each time I go out, even just to run errands.
I carefully put together colors, textures, jewelry and makeup so that I have a character that suits the situation. As a girl with Asperger's, I learned from a young age how to hide myself in a crowd. How to be a chameleon, not only with my personality, but with my wardrobe. The few people who have seen my jewelry collection...well, I have seen the widened eyes. I have a *lot* of jewelry. A lot of it...see?
It goes back to what I talked about in an earlier post; that we are actors on a daily basis, and home is the place where we don't have to act, and simply get the chance to be ourselves, so don't be surprised if our collection looks like something that belongs behind the scenes of a television show or movie set: a little bit of everything. And, no, I'm really not kidding about that!
So, when we're at home, not expecting company, we are our truest selves, all the way down to our fashion.
I like sweats.
I like high-waisted jeans.
I love vintage t-shirts and men's button ups.
But...believe it or not...I LOVE DRESSING UP!!!
After all of this, you're probably going, What? But she just said that being comfortable is the most important thing to her, this doesn't make any sense!
Actually, I never said dressing up is uncomfortable. In fact, I own about six or seven formal dresses. Most of them I have never had the chance to wear and have never been outside of my closet except for when I first bought them, but I love wearing them! When I find a formal dress that not only looks great on me, but is comfortable, too, I buy it!
Dressing up is wonderful and makes me feel pretty and gorgeous and is the time where I can best hide among all you neurotypicals. I love it!
I may be a total tomboy at home, but whenever I get the chance to dress up, I take full advantage of the oppurtunity! I love feeling like a glamorous girl for a few hours in a pretty dress and heels and makeup. It's an experience that sticks with me long after it's done.
So, just because girls with Asperger's are always playing a part in public, that doesn't mean we always hate it. Sometimes, it's fun...but only sometimes.
To sum it up in simple terms:
We don't follow fasion...though we're more fashion aware than you might realize.
We like to be comfortable.
We are going to wear what we want at home and there's nothin' you can do about it!
...and boys...we hate shopping. If you end up dating or marrying a girl with Asperger's, then you have hit the jackpot, because we will not drag you from store to store and make us carry all of our bags. We will, however, steal your shirts on a regular basis, that I can pretty much guarantee. So, because of that, you will be shopping for shirts more than us because we will co-opt your clothes for our own purposes.
So, that's what it's like for girls with Asperger's...at least, from my point of view.